Saying goodbye to Sadie

We took Sadie in as a foster about 3 years ago when her mom was going into a nursing home and couldn't keep her anymore.  We promised her mom that we would take care of her and find her a good home.  We've never found her the right home and she’s been part of our family here ever since.  Tonight we’re going to have to say goodbye.  She’s 15 years old, has cancer, glaucoma, and a persistent ear infection that the best specialists in the area cannot clear up.  We've seen her slowing down over the past couple of weeks, and she’s stopped eating.  We've been through this enough with our elderly dogs that we know it is time to say goodbye and let her go.

I’ll remember her as the one who was so attached to me that she had to sleep up in bed between my legs. When I came home from the hospital after my heart attack she wouldn't let me get more than about 6 feet away from her for most of the month I was recovering at home.  She has never been a lap dog, but she makes sure she has a spot where she can see me and keep an eye on me when I’m home. She follows me from room to room and when it’s time for bed she’s been known to stand in the living room and bark, calling me to the bedroom down the hall so that she can get up in bed. She usually beat me down the hall and was waiting on the corner of the bed by the time I got to the door.  She had an assertive personality, her nicknames have included “Sassy Sadie” and “Princess Sadie.” She’s a barker and that was why we had to insist that any potential adopters lived in a single family home – she would have been a poor neighbor in an apartment or row house.  She also did not do well at adoption shows since she was usually trying to dominate the other dogs by barking and carrying on.  So we were never able to find the right home and we became her forever home.

Tonight we have an appointment at the vet to let her go. We've done this before, and we’ll probably do it again, but it’s never going to get any easier. I’ll hold her in my arms on the drive over; we’ll carry her in and a little while later we’ll leave without her.  We’ll come home and give the other three some extra loving and attention and going to bed tonight won’t be the same.  I’ll have too much leg room.

We'll meet again at the rainbow bridge.